President: Sage Arnold; Vice President: Finn Abbey
For too long the Student Government has ignored the real priorities of the student body. No longer! A vote for Finn Abbey and Sage Arnold is a vote for freedom; A vote for liberty; A vote for a Student Government worth paying attention to. Our policies include: Nationalizee Hillside, decriminalize library sex, abolish the business department, donate the endowment to charity, end all foreign conflicts, turn the freshman quad into a community garden, outlaw college Republicans and Democrats, turn Public Safety into delivery drivers, and sell lighters at Hillside.
Hi! My name is Sage Gittleman Arnold, my pronouns are they/them, and I’m here to change your life. As your president, I want to go where no other candidate has gone before. I will pursue a holistic upheaval of life at the University of Rochester. My foremost goal is the abolition of the present state of affairs and the exorcism of all paper tigers which haunt the vision of a better world. I promise to represent the will of the student body absolutely and relentlessly, as I believe horizontal rank and file organization to be the best path towards empowering collective action. Together, let us escape the vile systems which oppress us. Alongside my beautiful running mate Finn Abbey, I promise a glorious descent into madness which will breathe life into this wretched campus. No gods, no kings, no bedtimes: now and forever
My name is Finn “Mr. No More Messing Around” Abbey, and I’m asking for your vote for vice president, I mean senate. I have long been passionate about helping others, speaking loudly and running for things, so I have nearly all the qualifications for this position. I’ve been waving and kissing babies since at least middle school, and I’m the only candidate I know of to have run for State Senate as a high schooler. Did I win? Depends on who you ask. But I hope I can win your vote for this deeply important position. Together with my dashing running mate Sage Arnold, I hope to make Rochester unrecognizable by junior year. Pokemon go to the polls and vote Abbey/Arnold for every position.