| | |
| Year: |
Time means nothing to powerful financial men |
| Age: |
21, until the Old Toad confiscated his fake ID. |
| Hometown: |
MissingToothesville, Rhode Island |
| Major: |
Epileptic Studies with a concentration in Underwater Basket Weaving |
| Favorite Band: |
Leif Garrett |
| Favorite Show: |
Anything on Lifetime |
| Favorite Food: |
Body Shop Raspberry Splash body lotion |
| Hobbies: |
Masturbating with a spiked glove on; Yodeling the Confederate Anthem off a mountain top |
| Most Embarassing Secret: |
Maggots rent out holes in the flesh of his back and burrow in for the winter. He does this because he needs the money to support his gambling problem at secret underground cockroach races. |
| Spirit Animal: |
The worms inside a Mexican Jumping Bean |
| Special Talents: |
French Braids, acting like a Leprechaun, and he stole the "Heart" ring from that butthead Mexican kid from Captain Planet, so he can make the monkeys help him. |
| Car: |
Vroom Vroom |
| Quote: |
"If you ever think that maybe you want to wake up and change your gender preference, you should probably think whether or not you want to have sex with people the same gender as you, because if you don't, then you probably shouldn't change your sexual preference. I did it once, and once your naked in a room with Lance and Bruce, it's entirely too late to explain that you hadn't thought the idea through." |
